Chapter Eight
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not an emotion nor a feeling, but an act of our will. We need not only to forgive others but also ourselves — and God.
Preparing to Pray for Forgiveness
1. As children of God, we are to forgive as Christ forgave us. Our example is that Jesus forgave those who were crucifying Him as He hung on the cross.
2. At times, the results of other people's sins come upon us. Examples are sexual and ritual abuse, rape, incest, parents killed by a drunk driver, war, or natural disaster. These events wound us to our very core.
3. Such traumatic events often occur when a person is a child. At this vulnerable time, children do not have the ability to understand what is happening. That makes it very difficult to cope with the stress or trauma.
4. Through unforgiveness, we become bound to the offender(s), and the painful memory will not heal. Unless we forgive and release the offender(s), we will continue to recall the hurt, rejection, and betrayal. We will continue to feel pain, be angry, and often depressed.
5. Unforgiveness links the person to the offender. Some people harbor unforgiveness for years, even after the person who hurt them has died. The perpetrator may be dead for years while the survivor is still tormented by what this person did. Like a chain, linking them to the offender, these people are often tormented by demons.
6. God's Word, in Matthew 18:34-35, tells us that we will be delivered over to the tormentors if we don't forgive. Pain and hurtful memories will start to heal after forgiveness. Sometimes, the hurtful memory will be completely erased. The person must let go of any unforgiveness in order to have peace and healing. The tormentors are demons.
7. Forgiveness is not an emotion nor a feeling but an act of our will. It is making a heart decision to let go of our right to make the offender pay. It is trusting God to deal with them in His way.
8. The only way to be free is to forgive and release the person(s) who caused the pain or harm. After we forgive and release them, we are in a place to receive healing. Few Christians understand that unforgiveness will hinder healing and open them to the tormentors. The pain always decreases as we let go.
9. Grieving is demonic and must be cast out. Sometimes, there is grieving because of the losses we have suffered.
10. Healing is not a process, but a promise, even though it takes time. By His stripes we were healed.
Note to Deliverance Worker: Have the captive pray the following forgiveness prayer.
Captive’s Prayer for Forgiveness
Dear heavenly Father, I thank You for Your love and kindness toward me. It is Your kindness that has led me to repentance and turning from all my sinful ways and turning to You.
I admit that I have not been kind, patient, and loving to others when they have offended me. I have allowed bitterness and resentment to grow in me, separating me from others and You, Father.
At times, I have forgotten this unforgiveness in my heart. This unforgiveness festers deep within me and beyond my conscious reach. This affects every aspect of my life and gives the enemy a right to torment me as stated in Matthew 18. I confess that this unforgiveness and bitterness is affecting my life and relationships today. Because of these past hurts, I acknowledge my inability to love or trust others.
I understand that forgiveness is not an emotion but an act of my will. I now choose to exercise my will to forgive others as You, Father, have forgiven me. Father, I know that You are a searcher of the heart. I ask You to search my heart. Reveal to me any hidden and secret unforgiveness or bitterness toward others who have hurt or offended me. I choose not to be ruled by a spirit of bitterness. I choose to forgive and have a spirit of peace and love in my heart. I repent, forgive and release these people right now.
I ask You, Heavenly Father, to forgive me and cleanse me as I forgive those who have offended me. Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would bring everything to our remembrance.
Dear Holy Spirit, I am asking You to bring to my remembrance anyone I have to forgive, and I will forgive them in Jesus' name. Amen.
Instructions for Deliverance Worker
1. After the captive has prayed the prayer of forgiveness, tell the person to relax. Remind him of the ten points discussed before he prayed.
2. Have him close his eyes and ask the Holy Spirit to bring to his mind any names of people in his past or present.
3. Remind him that he asked the Holy Spirit to bring the names to mind. He should not try to think up names or try to force names to come. He must get quiet and allow the Holy Spirit to bring the names to them.
4. As the names come forth, write the names down. It is all right if they don't know why they have to forgive a person. You only need the first name of the offender and not what the person did. Later when the captive begins to forgive a person, the Holy Spirit will bring to their memory what that person has done. If not, he should forgive the person anyway and release him or her. It is better to forgive and be free from the tormentors than to hold on to that unforgiveness. This is still their choice.
6. If the captive says, "I forgave that person long ago," remind him that the Holy Spirit is to bring to their mind anyone they have to forgive. Tell him, "Let's believe that you received this name from the Holy Spirit, and we will discuss the other issues later. For now, just listen for more names."
7. At this point, do not allow him to start recalling a painful event. He could get stuck there, and many names that would have come to their mind will be missed. You will discern whether this person is rebellious or in a humble state.
8. If there is a very traumatic memory that has to be worked through, then it may be better to work through that memory first. As the memory is worked through, there will come a place where the person can pray for forgiveness of the perpetrator. As you listen to the Holy Spirit, you will know when to do that.
9. Sometimes, the person may only get a face in their mind, but that face will be connected to a hurtful event. God knows to whom the face belongs. In this case, just write down a note about the face. When it is time to forgive, they can say, "The person whose face I saw, I forgive you in Jesus' name."
10. Explain that we may forgive people, but later we remember what the person did and start to feel the pain again. If we dwell on what that person did, we can get back into unforgiveness. Sometimes we have to forgive a person many times a day before the forgiveness moves from our head down into our heart. Forgiveness is a heart attitude.
11. When he no longer receives any more names, you can add the captive's own name to the list. Why? Because the Bible tells us to “love our neighbors as ourselves.” We must forgive ourselves for how we have acted in the past and the vows we put on ourselves or others.
12. Add God to the list.
Why We Need to Forgive God
Although our loving heavenly Father has done nothing against us, sometimes He does not perform the way we think He ought to or as quickly as we would like. At times, God doesn't give us what we want. This causes people to get angry and have unforgiveness in their hearts toward Him. This unforgiveness and anger at God puts a wall between the person and his heavenly Father. As a result, the person is separated from the very One who can help and heal.
Remind the captive:
God wants to fellowship with us, but He also has laws that must be obeyed. He has also given every person a choice. God can't break His own laws simply because people want Him to change events.
In times of violence and abuse, God cannot change the perpetrator's mind without taking away his/her choice. God does not want this to happen, but if He steps in and stops the abuser, then it would take away the abuser's right of choice. If God did that, we would not have a choice. We would just be mechanical robots.
God expects us to follow His laws and love one another. He gave parents the responsibility to care for and protect a child. People can be selfish and disobedient and bring hurt and trauma on others — even innocent children.
God will deal with that perpetrator in His way, and He can do it much better then we can. We must release that person and turn our quest for revenge over to God.
The captive must forgive God for not doing what he wanted Him to do, or for not helping him at the exact time or in the way he or she thought God should. This is very important because it helps the captive restore his fellowship with his heavenly Father. This is crucial because God is the only One who can heal the hurts and pain of the past for the captive. We cannot fellowship with God when we have unforgiveness and anger toward Him.
Time to Forgive
As the person listens for names, be patient and wait a sufficient time as the Holy Spirit searches his heart.
When no more names come to his mind, explain the next few steps:
Tell the captive that you are going to give him a name, and you want him to forgive that person for everything. An example is: "John, I forgive you for . ."
Tell him that he needs to speak the forgiveness aloud. Scripture says that “confession is made with the mouth.” If he can't say the forgiveness aloud, then he may have an unwilling spirit, great shame, or an evil spirit hindering him or her.
Pray for discernment and ask why he can't say this out loud. Work with him until he can confess forgiveness with their mouth.
Scripture says that we are to confess our sins. God is faithful and just and will forgive us all our sins. Confessing these sins to you will reduce his/her shame. As long as shame exists, Satan can torment them.
Have the captive continue doing this until he has forgiven that person for everything that the Holy Spirit brings to his/her mind.
When he runs out of reasons to forgive the person, instruct him to say, "I forgive (the offenders name) for everything in Jesus' name.”
You can now go to the next person on the list of people he needs to forgive
Do not be in a rush to get them through these prayers. Take time to pray and let the Holy Spirit lead you to what, when, and how you minister.
No Quick Fix
Sometimes people come for a quick fix and don't want to deal with anything deep inside or certain painful issues. They just want the pain to go away.
You can tell them that the truth will make you free, but the process could be painful, too. Proper surgery can be painful, but we bear the pain because we know that healing will result.
There are no quick fixes or Band-Aids to be used in this ministry. We need to explain to them that if they want to be free from pain and torment, it may be painful for awhile. If they persevere, they will get results.
If they continue to resist and debate with you, however, they may not be ready to work on their healing at this time. That is their choice. At this point, you may decide to stop ministry until they are in a receptive and cooperative mood. Your time is important to you and Christ, so don't waste it. You are the steward of your time. You are responsible for using your time wisely!
Pronouncing Forgiveness
After the person has truly repented and forgiven everyone, they are ready for a special prayer of remittance. We, as born again believers, have the commission from Jesus to pronounce forgiveness for their acts when they repent. Jesus gave this commission to us after he was raised from the dead:
“As my Father hath sent me, even so send I you. And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost: Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whosoever sins ye retain, they are retained” (John 20:21-23).
Pronouncing healing and deliverance is for all believers and not only for ordained clergy, as Mark 16:17-18 makes clear: “And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues . . . they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.”
A person can experience forgiveness as a healing process! You can say, “I pronounce your sins forgiven, in Jesus' name.”
Expressing Our Need for God
Deliverance Worker note: Explain to the captive:
We can't have true peace and joy without God. He wants to operate in and through us to reach the lost world. God will help us and will protect us. Often, we will become self-reliant and do things our way.
The Scriptures say, “all we like sheep have gone astray, each one to his own way.” In this prideful condition, we will not experience righteousness, peace, and joy. Pride also sets us up for spiritual attacks by the powers of darkness. (See Ephesians 6:10-18).
It is a good thing to be right with God when the attack comes. The attack may come through a person, but it is a spiritual attack.
Our battle is not with flesh and blood (people), and our weapons are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds (2 Cor. 10:3-5). We need to know how to do effective spiritual warfare.
We must declare our dependence upon God, humbling ourselves and coming before His presence in humility. God says He hates a proud spirit (Prov. 6:17) and a high look is sin (Proverbs 21:4) . He said He will destroy their house (Proverbs 15:25).
Captive’s Prayer of Repentance For a Proud Spirit
Dear Heavenly Father, Your Word says that a proud and arrogant attitude goes before stumbling. I know that You hate a proud or arrogant spirit. I want to please You, Father. I do not want to stumble or bring trouble on myself and others. I know at times, in action and attitude, I have had a proud spirit.
Because of my woundedness, I believed I knew what was best for me. In the past, I tried to run my life by my own power and resources. I have looked to my own intellect, ability, and strength to be successful.
Jesus, I have not denied myself, picked up my cross daily, and followed You. Your Word tells me that it is not by might, nor by power, but by Your Spirit that the victory comes.
I have opened the door and given Satan a place in my life because of this spirit of pride. I now repent of this pride and renounce this effort to be self-sufficient. Forgive me for not trusting or coming to You, Heavenly Father. I now come to You, humbling myself, and put my trust in Your mercy and love. It is Your kindness that has led me to repentance.
I now “cancel” all ground or openings to Satan in my life. I proclaim that I am covered with the blood of Jesus. I proclaim that you, Satan, have no part in me or power over me. I am a child of God, and the Holy Spirit is living within me. I hereby affirm my dependence on You, Father, and the work of Your Holy Spirit. I ask You, dear Holy Spirit, for Your guidance, wisdom ,and power to help me overcome the flesh, renew my mind, and live without sin. I will take up my cross daily, denying myself, and live a life under the control of the Spirit of Christ. Amen.
Identifying Areas of Rebellion
Note to Deliverance Worker: After praying this prayer, have the person repent and ask forgiveness for rebelling against: his or her spouse, pastor, employer, or any others in positions of authority.
Example: "Father, I repent and ask to be forgiven for criticizing and not respecting my husband.."
Explain that, according to God’s Word, being in rebellion is the same as playing with witchcraft or the occult. It opens a person up to attack by the powers of darkness.
After praying the prayer for a “proud spirit,” you can help the person deal with any specific issues and lead them in a prayer of repentance. You can also pronounce forgiveness to them.
Captive’s Prayer to Renounce Rebellion
Dear Heavenly Father, Your Word tells me in 1 Samuel 15:23 that rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft or divination, and that stubbornness is like the sin of idolatry.
You, Father, call rebellion and stubbornness detestable attitudes. I confess that my actions are a reflection of the attitude of my heart. You say in Proverbs 23:7: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."
At times, I have sinned against You, Heavenly Father. I sinned by going my own way and doing what I wanted to do. These actions have opened the door for the enemy to have an entrance into my life to harass and attack me. I now confess this rebellious spirit and humbly repent. I want peace and joy in my heart. Father, I choose to have a humble and obedient spirit. I reject Satan and all his works in my life and body.
I ask You, dear Holy Spirit, to reveal to me any areas Satan has gained access to or any hidden rebellion in my heart. I will share this with your servant as You make me aware of it. I do not want to give Satan any legal right to harass or torment me.
I understand that submission is agreeing and working together with someone to get a job done. I here and now choose to have a humble spirit and work with Your servant. In this time of ministry, I will accomplish the work You have called me to do. I choose to walk in the light and I reject all rebellion. I cancel all rights the enemy claims concerning me. I receive the cleansing power of the Blood of Jesus over every area of my life and mind, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Maintaining Trust and Confidentiality
As a Deliverance Worker, you are responsible for holding the captive’s experiences in confidence.
You are operating in the office of a priest and what you hear is to remain confidential between you and God. Unless you have specific permission from the person to seek counsel from an elder concerning what has been shared, it should not be shared with anyone!
In some states, government laws require that a deliverance worker inform a person when the captive says that he or she is going to do them violent bodily harm. Learning of the sexual abuse of a minor requires the deliverance worker to report that information to the authorities. The person can be told about this ahead of time. The worker or minister can make them aware of these requirements during ministry.
Trust is very important because so many have been betrayed by family, counselors, and clergy. Trust is also important for healing. If the person can't talk about hurtful issues to you, you may have to spend more time building a trusting relationship before you deal with forgiveness, etc.
Moral Issues and Shame
Moral issues are often one of the easiest ways Satan gains entrance to our lives and body. These moral sins give Satan a right to attack and harass us. People often feel shame from breaking moral laws. Because of this shame, they keep it a secret.
Satan uses this secret shame against the captive person in a powerful way. This shame causes them to separate from others and God.
It is our responsibility, as priests to our God and King, to have mercy and help the captive repent and receive forgiveness without rejecting him or her. God wants them cleansed and free from Satan's control. It is by the grace of God that we didn't go through that temptation or succumb to it.
Explain to the captive that it is best to confess these moral issues to a trusted, spiritually mature person who can be trusted with confidential information. The captive needs to deal with these issues, confess and acknowledge the sins of moral rebellion before God and ask to be forgiven. The captive does not have to go into detail about what they have done. They know what they have done and so does the Lord. When they repent and confess their sin, calling it what it is, God will forgive and cleanse them.
After a person has repented and confessed his/her sins, then the deliverance worker can pronounce forgiveness and justification for him or her. The former captive can then go on serving Jesus.
It is also our responsibility as priests and ministers of God to keep the information shared to ourselves. We are not to uncover our brother’s and sister's nakedness to others. God will deal with us for that.
Captive’s Prayer
Dealing with Moral Issues
Dear Heavenly Father, Your word tells me in Galatians 5:17 that my flesh lusts or wars against my spirit. I am not to gratify the lusts of my flesh. I put on the Lord Jesus Christ. I will walk by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Father, You know that ,at times, I struggle with the temptation to gratify the desires of my flesh. I understand that lust is saying, “I must have this at once.” Much of this battle is in my mind and thought life.
Because of my loneliness and inner pain at times, I have entertained lustful fantasies in my mind and thoughts. This only increased the desire to gratify my flesh. At times, this battle has been more than I could stand, and I have given in to the lust of my flesh. I ask You, Father, to reveal to me any ways in which I have broken your moral laws.
Father, I am truly sorry. I repent and ask You to forgive me. I acknowledge that all my sins are forgiven in Christ. I repent and cancel all access to my life by evil spirits. I apply the blood of Jesus over me as my protection. I command all evil spirits that have entered my body or mind to leave me now in Jesus' name.
I now make a new commitment to guard my eyes and take every thought captive in obedience to Christ. I will walk by the guidance of the Holy Ghost. I will work to take control of my body and renew my mind, not giving into fleshly lusts. I will depend on the Holy Ghost to help me accomplish this, in Jesus' name.
Note to Deliverance Worker: You need to ask the captive if there is any moral issue that came to mind for which they need to repent. Forgiveness and justification can be pronounced after repentance of their sins.